The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units
manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the
serious defect in the primary and central component of
the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original
prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in
the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent
units. This defect has been technically termed, Sub-
sequential Internal Non-morality, or more commonly
known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.
Some other symptoms:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Foul vocal emissions
[c] Amnesia of origin
[d] Lack of peace and joy
[e] Selfish or violent behavior
[f] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Idolatry
[i] Rebellion
The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for
this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and
service free of charge to correct this SIN defect.The
Repair Technician, the Lamb of God, has most
generously offered to bear the entire burden of the
staggering cost of these repairs.
There is no additional fee required.The toll-free number
to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once
connected, please upload your burden of SIN through
the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, the Lamb of God,
into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, the Lamb of God will
replace it with:
[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Patience
[e] Kindness
[f] Goodness
[g] Faithfulness
[h] Gentleness
[i] Self-control
Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for
further details on the use of these fixes. As an added
upgrade, the manufacturer has made available to all
repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and
assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy Spirit.
Repaired units need only make Him welcome, and He
will take up permanent residence on the premises!
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit
without correction voids the Manufacturer's warranty,
exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous
to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently
impounded.
For free emergency service, call on the Lamb of God.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this
recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace.
The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as
to prevent contamination of that facility.
manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the
serious defect in the primary and central component of
the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original
prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in
the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent
units. This defect has been technically termed, Sub-
sequential Internal Non-morality, or more commonly
known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.
Some other symptoms:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Foul vocal emissions
[c] Amnesia of origin
[d] Lack of peace and joy
[e] Selfish or violent behavior
[f] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Idolatry
[i] Rebellion
The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for
this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and
service free of charge to correct this SIN defect.The
Repair Technician, the Lamb of God, has most
generously offered to bear the entire burden of the
staggering cost of these repairs.
There is no additional fee required.The toll-free number
to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once
connected, please upload your burden of SIN through
the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, the Lamb of God,
into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, the Lamb of God will
replace it with:
[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Patience
[e] Kindness
[f] Goodness
[g] Faithfulness
[h] Gentleness
[i] Self-control
Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for
further details on the use of these fixes. As an added
upgrade, the manufacturer has made available to all
repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and
assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy Spirit.
Repaired units need only make Him welcome, and He
will take up permanent residence on the premises!
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit
without correction voids the Manufacturer's warranty,
exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous
to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently
impounded.
For free emergency service, call on the Lamb of God.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this
recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace.
The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as
to prevent contamination of that facility.
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