Overcome Procrastination: 7 Strategies to Help You Succeed

1. Set Your Goals: Setting your goals is the first step towards overcoming procrastination. Make sure to set achievable goals that are realistic and achievable. This will help you stay motivated to complete tasks and stay on track. 

2. Break Down Tasks: Break down big tasks into smaller, more manageable tasks. This will make the task seem less overwhelming and more achievable.

3. Create a Schedule: Create a schedule that allows you to plan out your tasks and activities. This will help you stay on track and ensure that you don’t procrastinate on important tasks.

4. Prioritize Tasks: Prioritize which tasks are most important and need to be completed first. This will help you stay focused and ensure that you don’t get distracted by other tasks that may be less important.

5. Eliminate Distractions: Minimize distractions by turning off notifications, limiting access to social media, and avoiding multitasking. This will help you stay focused and get tasks done faster.

6. Reward Yourself: Reward yourself for completing tasks and staying on track. This will help motivate you to keep going and stay focused.

7. Seek Support: If you’re having trouble overcoming procrastination, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. There are many resources and people who can provide support and guidance to help you stay on track.

12 ways to improve your mood in a less than a minute

 

12 Ways to Improve Your Mood in Less than a Minute

If you’re feeling a bit blue, you might be surprised to hear that are lots of ways to lift your mood in less than a minute. Skeptical? Try these and see!

1. Put some drops of lavender and orange essential oils in a diffuser. These oils have been shown to help with anxiety and to promote calmness and positivity.

2. Have a snack. A handful of nuts or a square of dark chocolate will send endorphins flooding into your brain and lift your mood fast. 

3. Get some sunshine. Go outside and get some fresh air and some sunshine, Studies have shown that people who have significant exposure to light have less depression, fewer sleep problems and are even more productive. If you can't make it outside, go and look out of a window.

4. Go for a walk. Even walking around the block will help to lift your heart rate and energy levels. 

5. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Breathe in and out deeply three times. Focused breathing lowers your blood pressure and calms the mind. 

6. Lift your shoulders up to your ears and then let them drop. Do this three times and feel the tension ebb away. It’s easy to hold onto a lot of tension and stress without realizing it. 

7. If you’re feeling nervous before an interview or presentation, go into the stairwell or the restroom. Breathing in, open your arms wide, breathing out give yourself a big hug. It’s almost impossible to do this without smiling. 

8. Smile! Smile and make eye contact with a colleague or the guy in the coffee shop or the person serving you at the deli. The physical act of using your smile-muscles can genuinely make you feel happy. And it's contagious. Chances are you'll make them smile too and improve their day.

9. Stand up straight, lift your head and throw your shoulders back. Adopt a Wonder Woman or Superman pose and feel the change in your energy. 

10.  A cup of tea or coffee will instantly lift your mood. You probably know that caffeine is a stimulant, but even low or no caffeine hot drinks will give you a boost or calm you down whether it’s chamomile or green tea, a chai latte or hot water and lemon. 

11.  Listen to music that you love. You can choose custom mood music, or play your old favorites. Music has been shown to have a powerful effect on mood.

12.  Ask for a hug. Probably not from your boss, but a family member or friend would love to give you the instant comfort of an embrace.

Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking

Fear of Public Speaking

This is one of the most common fears that people have, which is making a speech before an audience. Although this task appears to be rather straightforward, there are several factors that could come into play, which makes this, a legitimate type of fear instead of being an irrational one.

Even those people whose job requires them to speak before a group of people are not exempted from this fear, which is surprising knowing that they do it often. So you might as well picture those individuals who only get to perform public speaking on given occasions and the amount of fear that is entailed with the task. In fact, the fear is so massive that it can result to stress for some people. This requires some attention knowing that some people who experience fear of public speaking end up not delivering a quality speech since they are overtaken by that fear. Indeed, the feeling of fear can cloud one’s ability to focus on the task at hand. After all, an effective public speaking produces a satisfying experience for both the public speaker and its audience.

Steps to Overcome Fear of Public Speaking

Public speaking isn’t an activity to be feared about. If this does not do the trick for you, then you might want to consider applying the following perspectives and behavior towards this and hopefully be able to overcome this type of fear.

Public Speaking Isn’t Supposed to be Stressful

Fear of public speaking is quite common that some people think it is inherently stressful. Well, it is time you know it is not! Communicating with others is an activity with which humans do every day, so why should public speaking be any different? Therefore, one way to overcome the fear of public speaking is to imagine this activity as any regular communication that you do every day. The only difference with public speaking is that you are addressing more people than you normally would.

Acquiring this new perspective is not something that you can achieve overnight, though. However, just focus on what you need to share during your public speaking and less on the actual delivery process to lift off the burden.

Give Up The Idea of Delivering a Perfect Speech!

This is another major culprit as to why people fear the idea of speaking in public. Indeed, the idea of embarrassing yourself in front of many people is frightening. But the content of your speech is what is these people will remember, not how you flawlessly delivered the speech. Once you are able to get rid of this anxiety, then you will find that you become less frightened with the idea of making public speeches or talking in front of large groups.

Focus on the Purpose of the Speech!

One of the most common “hidden” causes of stress associated with public speaking is related to the cause above, which is trying to impress the audience with your delivery. Focus on what value the audience can get from your speech delivery instead of trying to make an impression on them. Although delivery will boost your success at a public speaking activity, the most important thing is to communicate effectively with them. If it offers any consolation, not all public speakers get 100% approval from their audience anyway.

Becoming a Good Public Speaker

Now that you have recognized the major cause of fear that most people experience when public speaking, here are factors that are important in not just overcoming this fear but also doing a good job at your speech.

• Study your subject matter thoroughly so you can be confident when it's time to deliver it.

• Polish your speaking skills. This will enable you to relay the information clearly and authoritatively.

• Prepare all of your presentation materials so you can deliver an organized speech.

• Practice your delivery. Even the best public speakers do this.

"How To Overcome Your Fear Of Public Speaking Without Attending A Speech Class Or Hiring An Expensive Coach"

Dreams how they can help us...

Dreams are experienced by all of us both consciously and sub-
consciously. The former can take the form of daydreaming or
visualizing, the latter, generally during times of slumber. They give
rise to an experience, which gives us visions of various occurrences
that may be future, present or past. It is what is created and how
these visions evolve that is the basis for our ideas.

Dreams are common to us all. We have wild dreams, pleasant dreams,
and occasionally we are unfortunate enough to have nightmares.
Our "wildest dreams" are something we generally associate with
excitement and total euphoria. The _expression, "It's beyond my
wildest dreams" indicates that the current experience has exceeded
what we had originally thought as possible. This is truly an amazing
experience when achieved. However, knowing your dreams can be
exceeded lends itself to the idea that we should put more time into
developing this area and diversify our thinking.

Our dreams are the cornerstone of our existence. Without them, we,
like a comet in space, find ourselves pushed along by external
forces. The purpose of this is for you to ascertain what is important
to you and to create ways for their realization. It will guide you
through many facets and challenges that you will face along the way,
bringing you closer to achieving those things that are dearest to
you. This all starts with your dreams. They are mandatory for your
life to take your most favored direction. You may not undertake
everything you ever dream about, but it is here where you will
commence. This is your starting point!

The ideas and concepts they present are things that we want, long
for, crave, wish for, desire, fancy, like, have no idea about or are
things that were simply thought up with seemingly no relevant basis
whatsoever! Dreams are the birthplace of your goals! It is here where
they are bounced around in your mind to determine their importance to
you. All the goals you will ever set for yourself during your
lifetime, will at first, be born as dreams.

Dreams are paramount, as they will provide you with your interests,
your goals, your leisure etc. They are the first step in giving your
life the direction it will take. Since goals are a vital by-product
of dreams, we need to compile a comprehensive "dream list" from which
we can commence our journey.

If you think this is somewhat far fetched then I ask you to consider
this as the starting point for you "in going all the way" with what's
important to you! Throughout, you will discover significantly about
what makes you tick and what direction you want to take. It will lead
you to becoming extremely honest with yourself, insofar as the person
you are, and the person you want to be. Success is most definitely a
journey not just a point of arrival. If you are ready for this trip,
let's start now!

Now that we have established the importance of our dreams, we would
be well advised to come clean with ourselves by honestly and openly
putting our dreams down on paper, therefore laying them out directly
in front of us.

A dream list will comprise all things that we want, wish for, lust
for, need, desire, think about, like the idea of - anything of a
positive nature really. For example, you may want to swim the English
Channel, climb the Eiffel Tower, fly to the Moon, yearn to live in
five or more different countries, learn another language or two, move
to a remote island, see every game your football team plays at their
home stadium, give up work, learn a musical instrument, control your
anger,　 have more leisure time, take up abseiling, travel the French
Loire Valley, live in your "dream home", and the list goes on. This
list is virtually inexhaustible.

As you can see you can't let feasibility get in the way. This is a
dream list and dream lists contain everything you dream about. As I
said earlier, you must be totally honest with yourself. Do not let
yourself down here. Do not treat this lightly and do not laugh it
off, as we are about to create a starting point for you to pursue
your innermost desires. Your dreams must be put onto paper to be
realized, otherwise they will remain in the dungeons of your mind,
never getting the opportunity to surface into the open air or the
chance for fruition that they richly deserve.

A dream list is a list created in a short brainstorming session by
you and you alone, followed by countless future additions as you
think of them. It is vitally important that this list contains as
near as possible to everything that you dream about doing. It doesn't
need to be feasible. It doesn't even have to be real. It must however
contain an abundance of positives. You want to draw on positive
energy and go berserk with your wildest dreams.

You owe it to yourself to be the best you possibly can at what you
do. So, be 110% honest with yourself. Remember, this list is for you
and you alone. It means nothing to anybody else. It is a treasure
map. We will follow this map, your map. But you must draft it first.

First of all, brainstorm a list on paper taking around 15 minutes to
do so. Then after you've done your first copy, use your word
processor, text editor or your preferred software to make it look
professional and then print it out. This way you have an honest
listing of your dreams right in front of you (and legible too). They
become a little more real and tangible when you can see them in plain
black and white.

You may be able to put together a couple of pages of your dreams. If
you can muster only ten or so then, you're, either not putting enough
work into it or aren't being honest enough with yourself, or both.
You are a very deserving person about to take off. Give yourself the
respect and honesty you deserve and go wild. There is no general rule
of thumb, but if you can get 60+ dreams on to your list within a 15-
minute period or thereabouts then you are really getting somewhere.
This isn't something you need to stress about. Include only things
that mean something to you. Don't include ridiculous things simply to
get your numbers up. Even if it makes you laugh, then write it down.

If you have problems getting much down onto paper, consider winding
the clock back to when you were a six-year-old child. Back then there
were no thoughts of practicality or reality amongst your dreams and
ideas. No restrictions at all. These thoughts were free from the
distractions of how, why and when. My three-year-old nephew recently
told me how he wanted to be a policeman, fireman and a doctor. Okay,
he's ambitious you may think. That's a major understatement as he
fancied trying his hand at all three simultaneously. I cringed at the
thought. He just smiled at my reaction. If you dream about doing
something then include it. It warrants attention.

Listing your dreams stimulates your inner and natural creativity. It
opens your imagination and unleashes inventiveness. As you compile
and review this list , other ideas will come into your head; get them
down while they're fresh. At some point after your brainstorm, you
may decide that a particular dream doesn't suit your needs and can
therefore be discarded. However, for you to decide this it must
firstly be included. Many of your dreams won't be discarded. It is
only prudent to build a careful, yet abundant selection of dreams
that you may not even come close to fully achieving during your given
days. This compares favorably to an empty list of nothing meant to
bring excitement, fun and meaning into your life. Groom your list as
you see fit, but it is imperative that you have it fine-tuned. Don't
be too hasty with the discarding - remove only those ones that were
making up the numbers.

Now, take a pen and paper, put any distractions (including hesitancy)
aside and start recording your dreams and desires. You must look at
this free of any pangs from external sources. This is your list and
your list alone. It means nothing to anyone else. However, the value
of your list can be likened to that of The Crown Jewels sitting in
The Tower Of London.

Take 15 minutes now and write down as many things onto your "dream
list" that you possibly can.

Fifteen minutes later... congratulations. You have just completed
your first draft of your very own personal dream list. Now, while
you're hot onto it transpose this list on to your hard drive using MS
Word or something similar. As you do this groom the list a little as
we just mentioned and there you have a professional plan right before
you.

As you look at this list priorities everything according to interest
and importance. Add where required. Delete as needed. Make
this "dream list" appealing, professional and above all else,
personal and ready for use.

Dreaming is a very positive form of development. This is because no
negative dreams will creep into your dream list. As you look to your
list, the contents should be giving you quite a smile. If not then
look at them again. Some will be funny. Some will be important. Some
may be ridiculous. Some others will be of vital importance to you.
Others may fade off into oblivion as you mentally prioritize what you
have done into a logical order.

Your dreams have no limit. Dreams are dreams. Only self-imposed
restrictions will impair them. They optimize your sub-conscious. Your
sub-conscious works when you daydream or sleep, creating new dreams
and developing current and older ones. It can even create a plan when
fed enough positive and stimulating energy.

Dreams also give you direction and in a broader sense, focus. They
can be vague but your dreams are really what you see and what you may
want to achieve. There is also an element of feeling associated with
dreams, as they are very real. Emotion can run high. Generally, this
emotion brings a realistic vision before us in our mind. Due to the
closeness between our dreams and ourselves, their meaning can go
deeper than we would ordinarily associate them with.

Focus comes from concentrating on something, which is important and
needs to be done. A dream is an aspiration - a cherished hope. Dreams
are generally things we believe to be outside our immediate grasp.
Therefore, until developed, remain a hope.

Therein lies a secret too. Although, not yet achievable the mere
dream itself is powerful enough to draw your interest in taking a
particular direction. Dependant upon your level of aspiration will be
your focus. This is the difference between your wildest dreams and
your pipe dreams. You will devote more attention to those dreams you
really aspire to. Hence, elevating them in importance to you.

You will then tend to leave the pipe dreams for what they are and put
your energies into where your heart is.

Dreams can be very moving. Look at your list. When imagining
undertaking those at the top of your list do you get butterflies in
your stomach? If so, then you have been very honest with yourself. If
not then you may want to start again and really own up to yourself as
to who and what you ultimately want to be and do. Listen to your gut
feeling and have the courage to put it down on paper. Don't be self-
conscious about what others may think. This is　for you! Your top-
level dreams need to move you for you to be prompted to do anything
about them.

It is these dreams that bring before us a clear vision of what we
want. Emotion is a very important aspect of dreaming. Emotion is very
strong within us all and plays an important role daily. If the dream
appeals to our emotion then it gets to take its place on our team.
With high emotion involved with our thoughts and dreams, a huge nexus
between our cherished dreams and ourselves is created. Their meaning
becomes deeper and is held in higher esteem with deserved respect.

Dreams really are a powerful army of strength. Harness their energy
and they will deliver you to the starting point of your success that
you so richly deserve. It's true; many of our dreams are mixed, some
lasting only a few seconds. Some make lasting impressions while
others wane away into nothing before we wake leaving virtually no
impression whatsoever.

It may be hard to fathom, but as adults we have quite a say in the
topics and the moods of our dreams. For example since I learned to
harness the power within the creative sub-conscious and the
importance of my dreams and goals, I now look at the world in
abundance and many of my ideas and thoughts are reflected throughout.
I know from my own experience that I occasionally wake up early in
the morning with not just an idea, but seemingly its application as
well. Hurriedly I scurry out of bed to the desk and, with both eyes
only half open and not having a real sense of physical direction, I
begin to frantically store the thoughts of my sub-conscious on paper(too early too bash away at the keypad I'm afraid). The concept has
been captured. Expanding on this isn't very difficult when the
concept lies before you in dry ink. However, like everything - it
needs a beginning. Just listen to your dreams.

The marvelous and wonderful subconscious mind 2

Unlike the logical, and objective conscious mind, subcon is
subjective,　 independent of the five senses,intuitive, non-
reasoning, impersonal, and, non-selective.

1. Subcon acts as a store house of memory (computer). Everything you
ever heard saw, tasted, felt and smelled is locked in those
billions of cells called your brain.
2. It regulates your involuntary functions - breathing etc.
3. It is the seat of your emotions, which are under it's control – not that of conscious mind.
4. It is the seat of your imagination.
5. It controls habitual conducts like walking, driving a car, etc.
6. It is the dynamo that directs your energy and it's source.
A common analogy when discussing the subconscious is that if the brain is the computer, the subconscious mind is the programme that is running.
If you were to weigh the brain of someone with a low IQ and compare it to the weight of that of Albert Einstein, there would be no difference to speak of.
The really clever, high achievers of this world do not take an unusually large hat size. They are the same as the rest of us.
The subconscious, as opposed to our conscious mind, controls our life much more than we would care to admit.
Our conscious mind knows we have destructive habits like smoking or over eating, but is powerless to over-ride them because habits are controlled by the subconscious.
You may agree that house spiders are harmless, but your subconscious still makes you terrified of them. You just can't help it, you are at the mercy of your subconscious.
Imagine that as a small child you got poor marks for sight-reading in a music exam. Imagine how disappointed you might have felt.
Your subconscious might have quickly developed the totally irrational belief that you are a lousy sight-reader, and because that is such a deep belief in the subconscious you are sentenced for life. So who says what programmes we run in our subconscious?
 Do we accept regular 'free updates'?
Do we actually know what software we are running anyhow?
Keep thinking in these terms and you can turn your whole life around permanently and for the better by downloading positive software.
What we believe about ourselves is housed in our subconscious and it is possible to easily erase self destructive programmes.
We learn in many ways.
You touch a stinging nettle and very quickly you learn not to touch one again.
 We learn the scale of C sharp Melodic Minor by constantly repeating and repeating it. When we are interested and absorbed in a subject we learn very fast.
When we have to learn boring empirical formulae for some chemistry test, the information refuses to stick in our minds.
Our state of mind controls our learning.
When we were very young we were either encouraged or discouraged to learn by our parents and other adults. Sadly research shows that for every 'yes' a child hears there are twenty or more 'no's. Is it any wonder we lose the skill of learning how to learn?
The problem with most goals is that they are usually vague and general.
We don't clarify our outcomes in detail and then determine exactly how we're going to get there. To get what you want, you need to know what you want and you need to know what you want before you can communicate it.
Take time to answer the following questions in detail so that your goal, or outcome, is well-formed in both your mind's eye and in your heart.
This format will assist you in transforming your dreams and desires into achievable goals. For best results, your goal should be thought of in a specific way.
1. What do you want?
Your goal must meet certain criteria for you to achieve the best results. It must be stated in the positive (not what you don't want).
It must be something initiated or controlled by you (not, I want someone else to do X).
 It must be as specific as possible.
2. What will having that (your outcome) do for you?
Ask this question for question 1 (What do you want?).
Ask it again of the first answer you just got to question 2.
Ask it again of that answer.
This will give you the "meta outcome" behind what you want (at this point you can adjust what you want, or not.)
3. How will you know when you have it?
  Describe what you will see, hear and feel upon achievement.
Be very specific here and fill in as much detail as possible.
 Describe a full sequence of your achievement.
4. How will I know when you have it?
Describe what an outsider would see, hear and feel (e.g., they will see me stand taller and move with deliberation).
What will they notice different about you (when you have your outcome)?
  5. Where, when, and with whom do you want it?
Have a clear context for your goal. Be specific, and describe in detail where, when (time frame), and with whom (who will be there with you?).
  6. What stops you from having it already?
This will help you identify the barriers to your achievement: the areas to be aware of and that must be handled in order to achieve.
7.How will your desired outcome affect other areas of your life?
This is a part many people overlook. It reflects on the "ecology" of your life.
 How will this outcome affect the system that is your life?
Note both positive and negative consequences of achieving this goal.
  8. What resources do you already have that will contribute to getting your outcome? Take stock of what you already have available to assist you (experience, friends, tools…) in your quest. 9. What additional resources do you need in order to get your outcome?
What else do you need? Step back and be specific.
This will give you fuel for action, and resources to pursue.
10. How are you going to get there?
Is the first step specific and achievable?
Is there more than one way to get there? Be creative.
 Take the time necessary to take your goals through this process.
 This works great on changing unproductive behaviours as well.
 Work it, the rewards will be worth it.
Thinking of the messages between David and the others, I do think that there are some basic guidelines needed, and they have to be said loud and clear.
I'll try and show you what I mean. This recipe comes hot off the presses from a newsletter absolutely devoted to healthier eating in line with Scriptural principles. See what you make of it.

The marvelous and wonderful subconscious mind 1

Like it or not, the words we say to ourselves and what we focus on
about life, about ourselves, and about others shape our beliefs,
attitudes and feelings. Think of your thoughts as the keyboard... the
data entry to your mind (Your mental computer).
When you centre your attention (the data input) on...how you're not
good enough, what other people have done to you, how unfair life is, worrying about the worst possible outcome...... all the direction of your thoughts, chemicals that act like powerful depressants surge
through your body, causing you to become even more frightened,
depressed and worried as the moments tick by.

Whenever these kinds of thoughts are allowed to "pop in", you simply cannot perform at peak levels in any area of your life. If it's
allowed to go on habitually, consistently positive outcomes become
impossible. Your incredible potential, along with your happiness, can turn non-existent.

It's very common and, often, it is this single mental habit... the
focusing of too much attention on what is or might be wrong, that's
destroyed more dreams and bright futures of more people, living and dead, than all other habits combined.
The beliefs and attitudes that allow these vicious thought habits to
flourish develop over time, and can come from many sources including criticism or any particularly painful past event(s), your body's appearance or physical limitations, and even just imagined
consequences. They can feed off one another, spinning you out of
control until anxiety and self consciousness literally take over your
whole being.
Our inner thoughts and feelings, if allowed to change, can transform
a lifelong loser into a champion in every sense of the word. If you
learn to focus on what's good in your life, instead of what's wrong.
Blast through your doubts to adopt habitual "I Can" beliefs which
will steer your career and your relationships where you want them to go – this isn't positive thinking either. And, of course, learn to
enjoy your hours and days, making life a fun, rewarding adventure,
just like people who seem to enjoy life so naturally...

How your eye movement can change your life

Think about a problem you've been having.　 
Where do your eyes go?　　
To the upper left as you think about it?　 
And after that, maybe they go straight to your left as you use your imagination to talk about it?　 
And after that, maybe they go to your lower right to see how
you feel about it?　 
Or, they could go a whole different direction.

Whatever it is, maybe it isn't working for you, or at least it isn't working as you want.

Why not take charge of your eye pattern and get a different feeling altogether?　 
Maybe a more successful one, maybe not, but this is how
you'll find out.　 
It's a great experiment.

Here's what you do:　 
Put your focus on your upper left, then, go clockwise around your face in the shape of a square.　 
Go from your upper left, to your upper right, to straight right, to lower right, to lower left, to straight left, then back up to upper left.　 
Do it slowly.Repeat it a couple of times to see how it feels and get a sense of how it affects your thinking as you contemplate your problem.　 
Is it easy, comfortable to do, or not?　 
Now, do the same
thing, only this time go counter-clockwise.

Pause between each exercise.

Now, for a change, move your eyes slowly in a clockwise circle -- not　 square.　Again, do this a few times to get the feel of it, to see what　effects it has on you. Now, go in a counter-clockwise circle.

Now, try moving your eyes in the shape of a triangle. Now, move the triangle's base to the side and let your eyes go to those points.　
Continue the triangle shape until you've practiced with the base on all four sides.
Now, do it in a rectangle.Change the rectangle's shape so that it's elongated the opposite of what it was before.

Now, just close your eyes and rest for a moment.　 
Which way of using your eyes helped you come up with a solution quickly and easily?　 
Go back to the way you initially thought out a problem and see the difference.　 
How does the way you are thinking about the problem
change as a result of trying something new?　
This new way allowed you to see, hear, and/or feel differently so that, in one of those processes, the solution came through faster, didn't it?　

Breaking the old pattern and stepping out of the mode brought a new　way to see things! Keep experimenting, keep learning.Watch as your life changes for the better, because you took a chance and decided to learn something new.

Fears;Can we overcome them and how?

Your fears can be minimized if you deal with them properly. Fear is
an emotion. Emotions come wholly from within, the subconscious, and have only the strength we allow them, under normal, everyday
circumstances. As human beings, we enjoy the possession of an
intellect, and it is the intellect, as well as - and with - the
emotions that needs to be the　 guiding force of our lives, if we are
to know any measure of happiness. Emotions are the color of life; we would be drab creatures indeed without them. But we must direct those emotions or they will control us. This is particularly true of the emotion of fear, which if allowed to take over reduces all of us to trembling shadows of men.
　　　　　

Most people have this mistaken belief that many of the things they
fear are supposed to be feared... that it's normal to fear them.
Rubbish!

This emotion is possibly the single biggest killer of success and
opportunity in humans. I personally can remember 100's of situations and people that I was afraid of. And it stopped me in my tracks every time I thought about the horrible rotten things that could befall me... wild, ridiculous imaginings.

It's true that there are many things that we should have a healthy
fear of. If you don't, you could be killed or meet any number of
other nasty fates.

But usually the things we fear are the exact situations that would
give us the most incredible, exciting, life changing experiences of
our lives.

For example, take asking someone out on a date. If they said no, you may look at yourself in a more realistic light and oh... let's say,
start getting in shape or considering the signals you are putting
out, or any number of other ways to be more attractive.

Instead, most people never ask and they just accept that they are
less... not good enough.

Maybe you don't even care about changing. There are most definitely throngs of people who would like you just the way you are. You... just the way you are. But fear keeps you from going to the places that you'd meet; from approaching the person who catches your fancy.

Every single time you say no to something in life there are only a
few possible reasons for it...

1)You're completely drained/tired and you just couldn't. Sometimes
the timing is just wrong.

2)You're simply too busy (or you think you are) or it's too late.
True, there are only 24 hours in a day. But you probably have more
time than you think.

3)You're afraid of the implications it would have on your life or
your self-image.

Number 3 is the most common.

Starting today, listen to the voice inside your head. Whenever you
see people doing something fun or if you're asked to participate in
something, if you're tempted to say no, STOP.

Listen to the "because" in your head.

No, because... and look at the reasons you come up with. They're
likely all fear based. You must do this if you're to overcome some of
the big obstacles in your way. Listen to the "because". Then start
poking holes in it.

Think "Yes" and then list the "because". List them all. Take it way
far out.

In the case of the dating example, you could come up with lots
of "Yes… because". Here are a couple "for instances". 
They could say yes... 
1) We could have a great time... laugh, dance, talk all night, make another date... 
2) Marriage, kids, grandkids... though that's a way bit premature – though quite common! 
3) I would feel great. 
4) The day would be that much richer 
5) I could learn so much about life and love.
 They could say no... 1) I could start overhauling my confidence levels 
2) I might stop smoking 
3) I may consider stopping some other obnoxious habit 
4) I would be convinced he/she is an idiot 
5) I could think, "Next!" 
6) I could buy a book about how to communicate well.
 7) The pain could start me on a mission to find out what makes those "other" people tick and I'd learn mountains 
8) If I do 7, ALL my relationships could improve.
 And I'm sure there's more. The point is this. Every single experience you could have, whether it works out how you'd like it to or not, is valuable to you... if you choose to look at them as learning experiences and as opportunities to grow. 
You must value growing in order to be able to look at things this way... and to be an action oriented person. Life is challenging no matter what you do. 
So why not go for the challenges that may have a trophy at the end... an experience to remember forever, a thrill, a laugh, a chance to learn, potential for greater intimacy. 
You choose the benefit. That's what the short example above illustrates. You figure out what you'd get. One thing is for sure. You'd get a LOT by blasting right through your fears. But you have to be "benefit-focused" to get the benefits. So don't just read this post.
 Do something. Do something you fear a little bit, or even a lot. It is often helpful to write down all the benefits if it turns out the way you want AND if it doesn't. There are enormous benefits either way. You start to learn win/win in life.

People treat you the way you ask to be treated!

People treat you the way you `secretly', and invisibly, ask to be
treated. Your unspoken request that determines how others behave
toward you is extended to -and received by - everyone you meet.

Your invisible inner life is the way you actually feel - as opposed
to the way you're trying to appear - when meeting any person or
event.

In other words, your invisible inner life is your real inner
condition. It's this state of internal affairs that communicates with
others long before any words are exchanged. These silent signals from your inner self are what a person receives first upon meeting you.
The reading of them determines from that point forward, the basis of your relationship. This unseen dialogue that goes on behind the
scenes whenever two people meet is commonly understood as "sizing one another up." But here's the point of this introduction.

We're often led to act against ourselves by an undetected weakness
that goes before us - trying to pass itself off to others - as
strength. This is secret self-sabotage. It sinks us in our personal
life and relationships as surely as a torpedo wrecks the ship it
strikes.

Any person you feel the need to control or dominate - so that he or
she will treat you as you "think" you should be treated will always
be in control of you and treat you accordingly. Why? Because anyone from whom you want something, psychologically speaking, is always in secret command of you.

It would never dawn on any person to want to be more powerful or
superior to someone else unless there was some　 character within him or her that felt itself to be weaker or lesser than that other
individual. Any action we take to appear strong before another person is actually read by that person as a weakness. If you doubt this finding, review the past interactions and results of your own
relationships. The general rule of thumb is that the more you demand or crave the respect of others, the less likely you are to receive it.

So it makes no sense to try and change the way others treat you by
learning calculated behaviours or attitude techniques in order to
appear in charge. Stop trying to be strong. Instead, start catching
yourself about to act from weakness. Don't be too surprised by this
unusual instruction. A brief examination reveals its basis. Here　 are some examples of where you may be secretly sabotaging yourself while wrongly assuming you're strengthening your position with others.

Fawning before people to win their favour.

Expressing contrived concern for someone's well being.

Making small talk to smooth out the edges.

Hanging onto someone's every word.

Looking for someone's approval.

Asking if someone is angry with you.

Fishing for a kind word.

Trying to impress someone.

Gossiping.

Explaining yourself to others.

The next time you feel yourself about to give into any of these
behaviours, give yourself a quick and simple internal test. This test
will help you check for and cancel any undetected factor that's about to make you sabotage yourself.

Come wide awake and run a quick inner scan within yourself to see if that remark you're about to make, or the answer you're about to give without having been asked for it, is something you really want to do. Are you about to speak because you're afraid of some as yet
undisclosed consequence if you don't?

Your awareness of any pressure building within you is proof that it's
some form of fear - and not you - that wants to do the explaining,
fawning, impressing, blabbing, or whatever the self-sabotaging act
the inner pressure is pushing you to commit.

Each time you feel this pressurised urge to give yourself away,
silently but solidly refuse to release this pressure by giving in to
its demands. It may help you to succeed sooner if you know that fear has no voice unless it tricks you into giving it one. So stay silent. Your conscious silence stops self-sabotage.

In any and every moment of your life, you are either in command of yourself or you are being commanded.

Ask yourself, "What's the worst that could happen?" Too often, we
place excess importance on potential problems. We all have a certain amount of energy so let's apply it to creating extraordinary
relationships, advancing our lives and meeting our goals INSTEAD of wasting that energy worrying. Take action on what you have control over and minimise risks for what you don't. Then invest your energy wisely.

In doing something for the first time, imagine that you have already
done it in the past. Close your eyes, then vividly imagine you
succeeding wildly at what you are really going to do for the first
time. The mind does NOT know the difference between something VIVIDLY imagined and something real. Make it vivid by involving all 5 senses.

Use the "as-if" frame. I love this frame of mind. If you were
confident, how would you be acting? How would you be moving? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell yourself inside? By asking yourself these questions, you are literally forced to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be acting "as-if" you are confident. Now just forget you are acting long enough and pretty soon you'll develop it into a habit.

Go into the future and ask if what you're faced with is such a big
deal. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously
well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You're reviewing your life. Is what you're faced with now even going to pop up? That's highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.

Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you
never go for. To get what you want, ask for it. I fully believe that
if I ask enough people for whatever I want, I can get it. This is not
necessarily true and yet it's a useful belief. As you think about
your goals and what you are striving for, how effective would it be
for you to believe that all the people out there want to help you if
you only ask? Whether that is true or not in the "real world" does
not matter. If you find that belief empowering, adopt it as your
own.

Disarm the nagging, negative internal voice. That negative internal
voice can keep anyone stopped. To disarm the internal voice, imagine a volume control and lower the volume. Or how about changing the internal voice to Mickey Mouse? Do you think you could take Mickey Mouse seriously if he were criticising you? Change the voice to a clown voice. The point is to disarm the voice by altering the way it nags at you. If I hear my own voice nagging me, it stops me. If I hear a clown voice, I laugh and continue onward.

"Life's challenges"

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyse you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are." - Bernice Johnson Reagon

How do you view and respond to the challenges that continually surface in your life?

If you're like most people, you feel victimised. Most of us
moan "Poor me!" We get angry, impatient, depressed and stuck. We think problems spoil what life ought to be. And we
do whatever we can to avoid the pain.

For those who want to BE, DO and HAVE more, problems and blocks are precious gifts. Through them, we can identify and release the unconscious fears and negative beliefs that hold us back from being all we can be.

Our lives change when we become conscious that every experience of resistance and fear has meaning and purpose. Working purposefully through our blocks helps us become whole and healthy, build self-confidence, and awaken to and express new and more powerful aspects of ourselves.

Here are seven steps for healing the blocks that limit your full expression:

1. Define your problem - get clear about your challenges.
2. Feel your experience - go beyond your mental and emotional defences.
3. Explore deeper meaning - connect with the source of the block.
4. Take responsibility for your situation - be accountable and own it!
5. Learn the soul lesson - what is the higher meaning and essence?
6. Heal yourself - through acceptance, forgiveness and surrender.
7. Take action - anchor your new learning.

Break through the wall of your negative, reactive emotions. Learn to see and release your negative, sub-vocal self-talk. Break the bonds created by your limiting, selfish ego and, in doing so, experience your own essence, power and joy.

"One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of
stumbling blocks." -- Jack Penn

"We are only as big as the smallest thing that makes us angry." - Unknown Source

DO and HAVE more.Laughter is the best tranquilliser.

Making plans for your goals

No matter what your goal is, it's not only important to have
a written down goal, but you must have a plan to reach your goal, as well.

I think that this might be one of the ways in which, some of us, me included, messed up in the past. Not having a thought out goal is one – it was true for me that `losing weight' was the sole definition of my aspiration, and this simply isn't good enough.
 It is too vague to start off and it lets you open to thinking about weight loss in terms of all the ikky bits of being fat that you do not want in your life, and very little about the positive aspects you want to have. 
But there is another part that I used to miss out. No plan. I used to just pitch into a diet or exercise program, and assume that this was all I had to do and it would all work out as I went. 
Which it didn't. If you look at losing a lot of weight, it is true that it becomes like looking at the side of a skyscraper and that gets to be disheartening and frightening. Too much to really cope with emotionally. 
So the baby step idea is essential. Break the final goal down into stages that are easy to handle. And then work on each stage to build up your action plan for getting from start to finish of the stage. 
Again. I never did – just flew by the seat of my pants and hoped it would all hang together. Which it doesn't and you get lost and discouraged and you have nothing to refer to when you need to adjust what you are doing. 
Do this sort of thing – make out a clear outcome goal, that doesn't have anything as trite as losing weight as the title, break it up into as many stages as you like, and prepare action plans for each stage so you know what you are doing, why, and how all the way. 
 And, of course, don't forget to book the celebrations for each stage of the trip either. This worked so well for me in building up the excitement and fulfilment and pride in how I was doing.

Success...

Have you ever fallen short of a desired outcome over and over and then made the slightest little teeny adjustment and it worked out  great?

Most people think that success, even at easy stuff is beyond
them. "I'm so stupid." "I'm just no good at that." This might sound obvious, but, "Those thoughts are DEADLY to your potential!" You don't even have to SAY them. Just the most fleeting thought in that direction can cripple the largest undertaking. Say instead, "That's not like me. I can do better than that."

When you fall short of a certain goal repeatedly, you need to realise that your expectations are MOST of the time fulfilled. You must expect to succeed. Not logically, but emotionally. This is why 95% of the time, most of the world will fall flat in trying to lose weight, quit smoking, permanently eliminating the piles of papers around them, etc.

Experience indicates that it is simple. Maybe even easy. If you start to think that you could and are able to start things with absolute certainty that you could do a job, you could do it well and you can develop the habit of seeing and feeling the outcome before you even start. It's a beautiful thing to behold. It doesn't always work out but the confidence sure gets you off your backside, ready to take your swings. The power of your mind is limitless.

What love means

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of
4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"　 The answers they got
were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined:


"Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff
gets in the way."
-- Charlie, age 5


"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and
paint her toe nails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her
all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.
--Rebecca, age 8


"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You know that your name is safe in their mouth.
--Billy, age 4


"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving
cologne and they go out and smell each other."
--Karl, age 5


"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your
French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
--Chrissy, age 6


"Love is when someone hurts you.　 And you get so mad but you don't
yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings."
--Samantha, age 6


"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
--Terri - age 4


"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a
sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
--Danny, age 7


"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of
kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy
and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.
--Emily, age 8


"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop
opening presents and listen."
--Bobby - age 5

Pampering yourself

Taking care of "you" is often something we neglect.　
We are most often great at taking care of others, but when it comes to ourselves, we seldom take the time to treat ourselves, which can be so easy to do.　
Self-Massage has amazing effects on our health.　
It improves circulation, relaxes muscles, helps digestion, and by stimulating the lymph system, speeds up the elimination of waste products. These direct benefits, combined with the psychological benefits of feeling cared for quickly produce a wonderful feeling of well-being.　　

You can easily massage yourself. Use self-massage to energize
yourself before school or work in the morning, or to unwind in the
evening. You can massage your feet while watching TV, or massage your hands while talking on the phone.
You do not need to undress, but you must be comfortable. Use oil if you are massaging on bare skin. Sit in a chair or on the floor, or lie down with your knees bent and your feet on the floor.　 It is more so recommended to not have other distractions such as the TV or the phone.　
Quality time with yourself is important.　
It allows you to focus on "you".
Just 10-15 minutes a day will make the difference. So here is it:

SHOULDERS
Most people suffer from occasional stiff necks, aching shoulders and headaches, so the shoulders are the perfect place to begin self-
massage.


1. Stroke your right shoulder with your left hand. Mold your hand to the curves of your body. Starting at the base of your skull, stroke
down the side of your neck, over your shoulder and down your arm to the elbow. Glide back to your neck and repeat at least three times.
Then do the other side.

2. Make circular pressures with your fingertips on either side of the
spine. Work up the neck and around the base of the skull. Then knead each shoulder; squeeze and release the flesh on your shoulders and at
the top of your arms.

3. Loosely clench your left hand into a fist and gently pound your
right shoulder. Keep your wrist flexible. This springy movement
improves the circulation and can be very invigorating if you are
tired. Repeat on the other side.

4. Finish by stroking softly and smoothly both hands. Start with your hands on the side of your face and glide them gently down under your chin. Slide your hands past each other at the front of the neck, so that each hand is on the opposite shoulder. Stroke gently over your shoulders, down your arms and off at the fingertips. Repeat as often as you like. This hypnotic stroke is so relaxing and can relieve headaches and tension.

LEGS
Knowing how to massage your own legs is very useful whether you are athletic or not. Leg massage can relieve aching after standing too long & help tired muscles recover after exercise. It stimulates the lymph system and regular thigh massage is believed by many to improve the appearance of thighs by smoothing them out & preventing cellulite. Do the whole sequence on one leg first, then the other one.

1. First, mold your hands to the shape of your leg, rest your foot
flat and bend your knee up. Start by stroking your whole leg from
ankle to thigh with one hand on each side of the leg. Begin at the
foot and stroke smoothly up the calf, over the knee and up to the top of the thigh. Repeat five times.

2. Knead the whole thigh, paying attention to the front and outside.
With alternate hands, rhythmically squeeze and release the flesh.
This regular kneading can really improve the shape & texture of the
thighs.

3. After that step, smooth your thigh by stroking it. Stroke up the
thigh from the knee with one hand following the other.

4. Pummel the front and outside of your thighs with loosely clenched fists. This bouncy movement brings blood to the surface and relieves stiffness after sitting down for too long.

5. Massage all around your knee, stroke the area gently, then apply
circular pressures with your fingertips around the kneecap. Finish by stroking softly behind your knee up toward your body.

6. Knead your calf muscles with both hands, alternating squeezing the muscle away from the bone & then releasing it. Then gently soothe the area by gently stroking, one hand following the other up the back of the leg.

FEET
It's easy to massage your own feet. If you are sitting up, rest one
foot on the opposite leg. Bad posture, back ache and fatigue can all
stem from unnoticed foot problem. By massaging your feet daily you can refresh your whole body.

1. Put one hand on top of the foot and the other under the sole, then
stroke smoothly from your toes to your ankles. Glide your hands back to your toes and repeat.

2. Support your foot with one hand and work on each toe individually.
Squeeze it firmly, and gently stretch each toe with a gentle pull.

3. With one thumb on top of the other, do a line of firm pressures
down the center of the sole and lines on either side. Then, with one
thumb, do circular pressures on the arch and the ball of the foot.

4. Support your foot with one hand and make the other into a loose
fist. Do knuckling movements all over the sole by rippling your
fingers around in small circular movements.

5. Then, still holding the foot with one hand, hack the sole with
your other hand, Flick your hand away the moment you touch the foot, so that the effect is light and springy.

6. Stroke around the ankle with your fingertips, as you stroke up
toward the leg and gently as you glide back. Finish by stroking the
foot as you did at the beginning.


Hands
It may seem surprising that people carry a lot of tension around in
their hands. But it's actually quite obvious when you think about how much you use your hands. Most of our movements are holding, clutching actions, so it is very relaxing to counteract these movements by opening the palm and your fingers.

1. Stroke the back of your hand, pushing firmly up toward the wrist and gliding back gently. Then squeeze the hand all over, pressing it between your palm and your fingers.

2. Squeeze each finger all over and make circular pressures over the joints with your thumb. Then hold the finger at its base and pull it gently to stretch it, sliding your grip up the finger and off the tip.

3. Stroke between the tendons on the back of the hand with your thumb. Stroke in the furrow to the wrists doing four strokes in each furrow.

4. Turn your hand over and support the back with your fingers. Do firm circular and static pressures with your thumb, working all over the palm and around the wrist.

5. Finish the massage by stroking the palm of your hand from the fingers to the wrist. Push into it with the heel of your other hand, then glide gently back and repeat.

Pamper Yourself Like a Princess: Have Your Spa Day At Home

50 ways to pamper yourself