Questions part 2

If you remember my last post in December I mentioned about some questions that can help you in ytour fight against weight.
Today here is the second part. (i decided to post this article i found some years ago in a yahoo group if i remember because its too big to read and use in one shot- i will try to find where and post it here, i don't want anyone to tell me i used their work as it was my own).
So here you are:
The third question is more direct: if there is ONE thing in my past that I most want to avoid, what would it be? 
An environment, a specific situation, a way of life, a person or type of person, a risk factor or outcome suggested for behavior or habits?
Four deals with the uncomfortable feelings that you most want to avoid. How often do you use food to number or change that feeling?  Does fear rule your life? Or anger? Or guilt? 
Subconscious is always life-directed, but through the misguided, illogical, subconscious processes going

on,there is a misunderstanding about a perceived risk or danger, and a feeling such as fear can be used to deter you from approaching situations, people or environments the subconscious perceives to be
dangerous for you.
 If you isolate the most uncomfortable and powerful
feelings that run your life, then you know which emotions need the most urgent attention to discover what they are trying to do for you and why. Uncover this, and then you can make changes that keep all safe and yet free you to move on.

Fifth: How comfortable will I really be with the `new me' that significant weight loss will create? This again may seem like a daft question, but if you are honest, you'll cotton on that very often your entire thinking was directed towards the loathing of being fat,
and the desperate effort to lose weight. But the outcome was given only lip service. It would be nice to lose weight! 
That has no impetus, no pulling power and to a certain extent this is understandable because those who have been through many attempts to
lose weight may not actually believe that they are capable of losing weight. 
Hope and desperation will pull them into the next attempt and the next, but the underlying situation is one of doubt. So, it's a bit of a lottery, and as with the national lottery, the prize seems exciting but its improbable, a nice day dream that doesn't need any
definition as to what difference winning will make in a life. 
With weight it is often much the same. The outcome is very insubstantial and hazy in the aspects that matter. You won't have the protective layer of fat. So unless you have taken care of the existing reasons
for being overweight, you are not entering a state of happiness but a state of emotional chaos when you lose weight.
Even if you HAVE addressed these reasons, it is still essential that you realize that you will experience new feelings, new emotional states that will make
a difference in your day to day life. They may be good feelings, but they may also be new and unfamiliar feelings – and we have a tendency to resist and be nervous about change and the new.
If your body was simply a cellular machine, then it would be relatively simple to adjust the food supply up or down to cause a corresponding change in weight. All your dieting experiences tell you that this is not the case, and if it were, you would have successfully lost weight and kept it off. 
So, it is necessary to start looking at the area of self esteem and how it matters.
`self esteem is a confidence in yourself and your capabilities'. If you have never considered that
there is more to what goes on than your conscious thinking and these weird feelings that plague your life, it's a fair bet that your confidence is likely to be somewhat dented and you may feel that you
have few capabilities other than one for making mistakes and failing.
If you loathe your body and are afraid of it, then your self esteem is not going to be high.

The simplistic process does work a little along these lines: Your thoughts affect your feelings and your feelings are going to influence your actions. There is more to it than this because it doesn't include the filters of beliefs, standards, values, ethics,
etc through which thoughts are filtered to allow them to match the composite of what, who and how you perceive yourself to be.
The key
word demo is designed to illustrate this process practically and show
you that thoughts and words do impact on subcon and do work very
precisely to cause an effect. You are not going very far, very fast,
if all your thinking is doubtful, fearful, hedging your bets against
the underlying belief that you'll fail again unless some miracle
happens, and you certainly won't get far if you don't like yourself.

One point about this last is that it isn't something that happens
instantly and overnight. There isn't a magic trick or pill that
suddenly deletes low self esteem and replaces it　 with high self
esteem. Like anything else its an accumulative learning experience
and it has to start somewhere. A good and vital start point is
acceptance of the status quo.

Now this is often misunderstood as an appeal to reason that you must
suddenly start to love your bulges and fat layers. While it would be
enormously helpful if this were possible or likely, it isn't, and
acceptance in our terms means something else entirely.

If you want to build a house and you have bought a plot of land that
is sandy, its not a firm basis for erecting a structure that may
weigh many tons, even hundreds of tons. Sooner rather than later it
will start to lean, sag, and break up. So, the first practical part
of house building is to dig in a firm foundation that will support the
building you erect above and allow it to stand true and firm, maybe
for many centuries.

Building your weight loss foundation is a matter of accepting the
status quo as an existing fact of life. This is my present reality
that I weigh `X'. No other emotional comments needed. Wailing about
it won't change a gramme. Raging about it won't change a gramme. But
engaging in these futile bouts of self hating and self abusive
wailing about being fat CAN very adeptly take your stress levels up
to a pitch that will destroy ANY possibility of losing weight.