Here is part 4:
So, you have this unique capacity to make a contribution to life that no one else can make, and its starts with yourself. By Learning to recognize all that you are capable of doing, all that you have done, all your talents and skills, and learning to celebrate your uniqueness.
Do you understand the importance of being your own best friend? This is best understood in the light of the Christian commandment that says `love thy neighbor, as thyself'.
If you don't have the second part, you cannot fulfill the first part either because you'll be running on empty with nothing to give to others because you have nothing to give to yourself. Apart from grief.
If you live in a state of fear and self loathing, then every single one of your body cells is going to be in a state of stress overload. It is going to be a `global state of anarchy' in the 40 billion body cells, and this means, at the bottom line that just about every cell process and body process is going to be out of balance.
Your digestive system will be inefficient because this is one of the first things that closes down under intense stress. So your intake of essential nutrients will decline, and you'll have shortages of some which are needed in excess to cope with the increased demands.
Your hormonal systems will be thrown out of balance, and some of the body chemicals that keep you upbeat will be either in short supply or production closed down. Increasing the tendency towards anxiety and depressive states – something which quickly turns into a set of vicious circles spiraling downwards into despair and paralysis.
Loving yourself isn't some form of corny new age exhortation but a very practical process, and one that can be summed up by learning to be your own best friend. This is something you understand because you have friends and you make an effort for them.
By learning that you matter, you are unique and you deserve equally, you can make a start by adapting the ways in which you relate to your external best friends to the way in which you relate to yourself.
You don't put your friends down constantly, you support them and encourage them, and get excited by the good things that happen in their lives, and enjoy their company and their warmth, love and friendship towards you.
Well, apply the same methodology to yourself and see what a difference it makes in transforming your own inner and outer life. Do you pay attention to your feelings? Well, highly likely. If most of the feelings you experience in life are of a less than positive nature, you probably spend a lot of time running away from your feelings, or trying to avoid them.
Or numbing them by emotionally based eating habits. Or by using drugs of a social nature or a medication nature. The simple fact of life is that we have these things called emotions that talk back to us via feelings, and there is no way of evicting them or locking them up so they have no part to play.
You might try to mask them with medication, or you might try to anaesthetize them with food, but you almost certainly know by past practical experience that it does not work.
All the feelings are valid, all have essential roles to play in our lives, and all the emotions are, ultimately, if sometimes misguidedly, very protective. But here again, feelings are not a subject on the school curriculum and they are just taken for granted. It's a straightforward choice.
You can leave things as they are and have your emotions running your life haphazardly and ineffectively – because this is not their true role – or you can start to pay attention and learn a little bit more of what your feelings tell you.
It is a very sophisticated and accurate guidance system that operates at its best in an advisory capacity. So not something to be feared. If you are afraid of something, it's a message to your conscious awareness.
What is subcon trying to tell you. What danger has it perceived ahead? Its not trying to cripple you but say to you `look out, I don't like the look of this'. And for 999/1000 fears of a non-life threatening nature, this is all that fear is intended to do.
The matter then rests with you because you are in charge of analysis and decision making. So that's why we say loud and clear, that you should take the time to get close to emotions and understand what they are doing for you, and then work with them in this dual format of advisor and advised.
This too is a familiar everyday process. If you are in charge of a group, you explain what you want done, you make sure all the resources are there and you assist in the process and remain in 2 way communication and contact, ready to step in where needed. And you pay attention to the feedback and the results.
It's the same for you , a very familiar everyday process applied not externally, but internally with your inner `team'. Nothing stops you talking to yourself, aloud or in thoughts. In fact, you do it constantly without paying attention.
And almost invariably if you do pay attention, you'll realize that a lot of our thoughts run in pattern groups of a very negative and derogatory and weakening nature. These are not fixed for all time, and nothing stops you stepping in and changing the nature of the self talk from put down to positively encouraging and supportive..
You can use other tools like anchors, collapse of anchors, swish pattern, war horse, etc, to alter habitual thinking patterns that create less than helpful feelings that have no secondary gains involved. This isn't difficult but a matter of reading the tool sheets and using them until you are happy with your level of familiarity and competence.
Some can pick up anchoring in a jiffy, others might need a couple of weeks to play around and practice. continues...
So, you have this unique capacity to make a contribution to life that no one else can make, and its starts with yourself. By Learning to recognize all that you are capable of doing, all that you have done, all your talents and skills, and learning to celebrate your uniqueness.
Do you understand the importance of being your own best friend? This is best understood in the light of the Christian commandment that says `love thy neighbor, as thyself'.
If you don't have the second part, you cannot fulfill the first part either because you'll be running on empty with nothing to give to others because you have nothing to give to yourself. Apart from grief.
If you live in a state of fear and self loathing, then every single one of your body cells is going to be in a state of stress overload. It is going to be a `global state of anarchy' in the 40 billion body cells, and this means, at the bottom line that just about every cell process and body process is going to be out of balance.
Your digestive system will be inefficient because this is one of the first things that closes down under intense stress. So your intake of essential nutrients will decline, and you'll have shortages of some which are needed in excess to cope with the increased demands.
Your hormonal systems will be thrown out of balance, and some of the body chemicals that keep you upbeat will be either in short supply or production closed down. Increasing the tendency towards anxiety and depressive states – something which quickly turns into a set of vicious circles spiraling downwards into despair and paralysis.
Loving yourself isn't some form of corny new age exhortation but a very practical process, and one that can be summed up by learning to be your own best friend. This is something you understand because you have friends and you make an effort for them.
By learning that you matter, you are unique and you deserve equally, you can make a start by adapting the ways in which you relate to your external best friends to the way in which you relate to yourself.
You don't put your friends down constantly, you support them and encourage them, and get excited by the good things that happen in their lives, and enjoy their company and their warmth, love and friendship towards you.
Well, apply the same methodology to yourself and see what a difference it makes in transforming your own inner and outer life. Do you pay attention to your feelings? Well, highly likely. If most of the feelings you experience in life are of a less than positive nature, you probably spend a lot of time running away from your feelings, or trying to avoid them.
Or numbing them by emotionally based eating habits. Or by using drugs of a social nature or a medication nature. The simple fact of life is that we have these things called emotions that talk back to us via feelings, and there is no way of evicting them or locking them up so they have no part to play.
You might try to mask them with medication, or you might try to anaesthetize them with food, but you almost certainly know by past practical experience that it does not work.
All the feelings are valid, all have essential roles to play in our lives, and all the emotions are, ultimately, if sometimes misguidedly, very protective. But here again, feelings are not a subject on the school curriculum and they are just taken for granted. It's a straightforward choice.
You can leave things as they are and have your emotions running your life haphazardly and ineffectively – because this is not their true role – or you can start to pay attention and learn a little bit more of what your feelings tell you.
It is a very sophisticated and accurate guidance system that operates at its best in an advisory capacity. So not something to be feared. If you are afraid of something, it's a message to your conscious awareness.
What is subcon trying to tell you. What danger has it perceived ahead? Its not trying to cripple you but say to you `look out, I don't like the look of this'. And for 999/1000 fears of a non-life threatening nature, this is all that fear is intended to do.
The matter then rests with you because you are in charge of analysis and decision making. So that's why we say loud and clear, that you should take the time to get close to emotions and understand what they are doing for you, and then work with them in this dual format of advisor and advised.
This too is a familiar everyday process. If you are in charge of a group, you explain what you want done, you make sure all the resources are there and you assist in the process and remain in 2 way communication and contact, ready to step in where needed. And you pay attention to the feedback and the results.
It's the same for you , a very familiar everyday process applied not externally, but internally with your inner `team'. Nothing stops you talking to yourself, aloud or in thoughts. In fact, you do it constantly without paying attention.
And almost invariably if you do pay attention, you'll realize that a lot of our thoughts run in pattern groups of a very negative and derogatory and weakening nature. These are not fixed for all time, and nothing stops you stepping in and changing the nature of the self talk from put down to positively encouraging and supportive..
You can use other tools like anchors, collapse of anchors, swish pattern, war horse, etc, to alter habitual thinking patterns that create less than helpful feelings that have no secondary gains involved. This isn't difficult but a matter of reading the tool sheets and using them until you are happy with your level of familiarity and competence.
Some can pick up anchoring in a jiffy, others might need a couple of weeks to play around and practice. continues...
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